I wrote this in my notes a month ago…well 5/13…I’ve been stewing on it and getting it into my soul and I didn’t want to alter my original thoughts – sometimes I do but the rawness of what is written is what I wanted to convey. This is the part 1 of the faith life word that developed in my heart, the one that Precursor led into. Part two will follow this one, soon. This soon is like God’s soon…you never really know what that means lol
I heard something today that has haunted me
Not in the “I’m so ashamed or fearful” way but rather it won’t leave me alone and it keeps coming to the forefront of my mind
I cannot fully embrace [or love] God as I continually criticize/reject his ways
It has almost been too much for me to handle today
It has made me question lots of things
Like what on earth have I been doing all this time when I’ve been questioning him? It wasn’t just “I don’t understand” it was more “whyyyyyy are you doing it this way???”
I’ve questioned if I have ever fully embraced Him on anything
I questioned if I was the one holding God back from Him being able move freely in my life because I wouldn’t accept His ways
I questioned if I even knew or could even fathom His ways. If I couldn’t then no wonder I couldn’t bring myself to embrace them – I was terrified of the unknown!
But as I went through these questions, I realized that doing it my way sucked. Nothing good had ever come of it
The unknown is just as scary as the boring routine rut I am stuck in
I know we are told His ways are higher than our ways but I found one more reason to embrace his ways. The only way to embrace something is to let go of what you’re holding.
If you are holding your ways, you cannot embrace His. So we must reject our ways – this is biblical. Matthew 16:24 NLT “you must give up your own WAY”
But then after all these questions I see Grace. Grace that is so overwhelming and powerful to change the outcome of those questions. It re-writes the wrongs that have been done and comforts me and empowers me to not do them again.
So it doesn’t matter that in the past I haven’t embraced his ways in the fact or regard that I have ruined his plan. God‘s plan can never be supported or undone and therefore it doesn’t matter that I messed up. Because we have all messed up and God‘s plan will still come to pass even in our mess.
So the grace covers the mistakes, helps me except the correction, helps me apply the information, and empowers me to not do it again. But even if I do make the same mistake Grace is there reminding me to not to. Grace is there to tell me what God’s will is and not mine
Okay so we accept the past as something we cannot change and is covered by grace. We accept the future as something we cannot control or order and is covered by grace. We accept the present as it is the place where God has placed us EXACTLY where He wants us. And it is still covered by grace
His ways. Even if it is terrifying at first – then after awhile it becomes more of “ooooo I wonder what He is gonna do next!”
There is always a NEXT with God but we have to accept there NOW to get to Next. God’s next won’t come until you accept God’s now. Accept the now as His way and the next will blow you out of the water.
God we reject our own ways and we embrace your ways. We enjoy the now but we are so looking forward with great anticipation as to what You are getting to reveal. We know you are already beginning to do it as you say in Isaiah 43:18-19, and we are ready to see and testify of your NEW THING! We embrace how YOU want to do it, in YOUR WAY! Jesus, HAVE YOUR WAY! We yell with conviction so that we do not overrule ourselves but instead stick to the faith You have given to us.