So as I am thinking on this phrase “You are the God who sees me” I unload all of what it means and what it means to me about how/when/in what way God sees me. A laundry list begins of my current situations and my previous ones, the ones I hope to be in, the ones I hope not to be in. It is…a little – a lot – overwhelming.
Mainly I am stuck on the very basic premise of this – that God sees me.
It is not a new thing for me to know that God sees me. When I say this know, I cannot help think of when I took Spanish class and there are two ways of expressing ‘know.’ *Disclaimer – if i spell it wrong or mix them up, don’t chase me down as not caring about Spanish. That ridiculous calm down, its a point.*
It has been awhile since Spanish class was formerly taught to me, so forgive me, but what I remember is the first-person translation is “Yo se” and “Yo conozoco.” The first is a general knowledge – you know it exists. The second is of an intimate nature as one would know a friend, family, or a lover.
This is what I think of when I know something in the sense that I am aware of it; this state of ‘knowing’ is where I have lived most of my life in regards to this phrase.
And it is getting to that intimate knowledge part that is tripping me up about God who sees me.
Right here, right now and every moment before and after now. But I get ahead of myself because I’m not there yet. Yes I know, profound.
He, God, sees you and not just in a ‘Oh there is she sits on the couch. She is wearing Captain America sweats and her hair is braided” way, (Which is all currently truthful because I would hate to mislead you in any way). But God sees you, sees me, in a way that looks into what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling, your current fears (admitted or ones you’re hiding from), your current misgivings, what brings you joy, what brings you sorrow, grief, laughter, peace, contentment, and so on.
(I was unable to think of anymore at this particular moment)
So for me, this means in this moment God sees me with my doubts of what my future holds at my job, with a future relationship (the one I’m missing *cough* a husband – what?), my church, my friends, my living situation. There are also joys that are triggered by my family, my dog (because she is friggin’ adorable), praise and worship, a good book, and quiet times in the morning. There are sadness caused by harsh words (some by me, some directed at me), missed opportunities, situations that are beyond my control but still are a direct negative impact, among other things.
Of course there are more levels to this theme of God who sees me so I cannot nor will I unpack them all no,w but I wanted to share with you what I’m going through. And what I’m trying to understand in reference to y’all and to my life.
I hope this helps in any way and if you feel like you want to share some of your struggles or victories, please do so! You don’t have to if you don’t want. I would love to hear any stories you want to share. Be blessed!